change

Change. I love it and I hate it. Some days I embrace it. Some days I down right loathe it. Especially when I don't know what it looks like. Some days I can't wait for a change, and yet the thought of it is really scarry. Let me explain.

Since I last wrote a post, our newest addition hadn't even arrived yet and now here he is just over 4 months old and he is the best change that has ever happened to our family. Seriously, I can't even remember what our life was like with a family of four. But now that we are five my life has changed in ways that I can't even comprehend. This little man brings so much joy it makes me tear up just thinking about it. (Warning, picture overload of really cute baby about to commence).

Don't say I didn't warn you. And in case you didn't get enough I'll throw in one more just for good measure.

But ultimately he is not the reason for this post. You see, prior to moving down here I had a good job. I mean a really good job. I thrived in that position and I loved every minute of it. But when my husband accepted a new position in the south that meant that I had to give up my really good job for something that was unknown. And that my friends is very scary!

But now something has changed. I have looked for a new job but my heart is not in it. I am sure the above little man probably has something to do with that. Yet at the same time, I have big hopes and dreams for all my kids. And one of those hopes is that we will move out of this temporary housing situation and build our forever home. But we can't do that until mommy gets back to work. Thus my dilemma.

You see my really good job wasn't really all that great. It meant a lot of stress and a lot of long hours away from my family. And right now that is not something that I am looking for. So does this mean that change is in my near future yet again? Isn't moving across the country while 7 months pregnant enough change for one year? I don't know. What I do know is that I am not as passionate about what I used to do.

So while I contemplate what my future holds I am starting to make small changes in my everyday life that I am embracing right off the bat. First off, I want to be healthy again. Pregnancy was not kind to me and it left me with a few more extra pounds then I would like. So I have decided to do something about it. I will be sure to keep you posted as to how it goes.

Secondly, I decided to sit down and write this post which hopefully means that I am back to blogging again. Will I be here every day? No. But I hope to be able to write more and be more intentional in my writing, find something that I am passionate about and be able to share it with you. I am excited for that possibility of what this little place on the internet hold for me as well.

And thirdly, I will keep looking for a job. Giving up is not an option. My dreams are too big to put aside and these guys depend on me. And that is all the motivation I need to embrace whatever change comes my way.